Wednesday, April 5, 2017

To Tell or Not to Tell, Therapists With a Personal History of Eating Disorders Part 2

“To Tell or Not to Tell, Therapists With a Personal History of Eating Disorders Part 2: Self-Disclosure Guidelines for Recovered Eating Disorder Practitioners”

By Carolyn Costin, MFT, FAED, CEDS and Alli Spotts-De Lazzer, LMFT, LPCC, CEDS
(This is the second of a 2-part series. Part 1 can be accessed by clicking here)
“The nature of an eating disorder strips away hope, making those suffering feel like they will never be free. Paired with this sense of impossibility, clients are often told that they will never fully recover both by people in their lives and professionals…Sharing stories of recovery and success (whether it is my own or simply that I have worked with many people who have indeed recovered) instills hope and belief. It provides hope and faith that recovery is possible until someone can believe it personally.” Respondent from group 1
The above quote is from a therapist who recovered from an eating disorder and has found that sharing her experience can be helpful in her work with eating disorder clients. Not all agree with her position; some believe that this kind of self-disclosure is inappropriate. The term “therapist self-disclosure” can conjure up images of therapists talking about themselves and their problems, becoming too personal with their clients, and crossing boundaries. Freud considered self-disclosure counterproductive because he felt it would distort the transference if patients had knowledge about their therapist. Therefore, self-disclosure was considered inappropriate in psychoanalytic theory. Over the years, feminist therapists, client-centered clinicians (e.g., humanist Carl Rogers), self-psychologists (e.g., Heinz Kohut) and others, brought forth different ways of being within the therapeutic relationship, and self-disclosure gained increased acceptance. Sharing some of who you are, as a person, became a way to help facilitate connection, collaboration, and a positive therapeutic alliance, which has been associated with a successful treatment outcome.
Self–disclosure is still controversial. The eating disorder field has been grappling with this issue, especially related to recovered clinicians disclosing their past eating disorder histories to their patients with eating disorders. Over the last few years, this topic has been the subject of increased discussion and debate amongst eating disorder professionals.
Carolyn:
My experience of disclosing my past eating disorder to my clients is that it never occurred to me not to. From my first eating disorder client to now, it seemed right, humane, important, and even wrong not to share that I recovered from an eating disorder. I have experienced no disadvantages from clients regarding my disclosure, but rather endless advantages. Sharing about my own recovery helps me establish understanding, rapport and trust, reduces shame, and instills motivation and hope. I can provide empathy as a survivor of an eating disorder and can challenge clients as someone who once did not believe I could change my behaviors or ever get well. I have, on the other hand, experienced disadvantages from colleagues in the eating disorder field.
I have been told that:
  • I should not share my history of an eating disorder.
  • I should choose between being a recovered anorexic or being an eating disorder therapist.
  • I think I am better than other therapists because I am recovered.
  • People who have had an eating disorder have no business treating eating disorders.
  • No one is ever really recovered, so I could not be.
I have been scrutinized:
Specifically, for over three decades, my food and weight have been the subject of scrutiny and comments from colleagues questioning my recovery status. Even though I am a normal weight and BMI, I have heard that I am too thin and that “people are thinking I might not be recovered.” At a conference where I passed on a chocolate dessert (I don’t like chocolate), I heard later that colleagues thought I was “restricting.” I have been denied speaking engagements due to the fact that I was openly recovered. I have also been rejected for a position in an eating disorder organization for the same reason. However, partly due to my being recovered, I have also been appreciated and sought-after by clients and their families, become a successful therapist and author, and have been catapulted to the limelight for the success of the eating disorder treatment centers I founded.
Over the years, things have changed. There are an increasing number of recovered clinicians in the eating disorder field reporting a personal history of an eating disorder. Many of these clinicians are self-disclosing their eating disorder pasts, speaking out, and helping to change perceptions. As we share in this article, colleagues in the field are beginning to indicate support of therapists self-disclosing a past eating disorder, as long as it is done thoughtfully, appropriately, and in the best interest of the client. To date, we know of no existing guidelines to help self-disclosing clinicians do just that.
In Part 1 of this two-part article, Alli Spotts-De Lazzer and I discussed the current debate surrounding recovered practitioners disclosing their eating disorder history to their clients. We cited research in this area, discussed pros and cons, listed advantages and disadvantages, and described benefits and risks for clients and clinicians. The article articulates our position in support of self-disclosure by recovered practitioners. However, we continue to stress that we do not believe that those who have recovered from an eating disorder are better treatment providers than those who have not. We are instead suggesting that recovered clinicians are uniquely suited to share personal perspectives on the journey of eating disorder recovery along with what it takes to be recovered and could benefit from guidelines on how best to do so.
Here in, Part 2, information gleaned from the experience of recovered practitioners is summarized and incorporated into guidelines for self-disclosure that help ensure a focus on the client’s best interest.
“I disclose as a way to talk about life after recovery, what it looks like, how you can get there and mostly…to instill hope in the clients when they feel that recovery is not possible for them.” Respondent from Group 2
Alli:
Before Carolyn Costin and I began writing “To Tell or Not to Tell: Therapists with a Personal History of an Eating Disorder” (2016), I was curious about current beliefs and practices regarding a therapist’s self-disclosing of his or her recovery from an eating disorder in clinical work. So, I reached out to eating disorder specialist practitioners.
I did not seek practitioners who identified as “recovered,” nor did I know many of their histories. Excepting one, I had limited to no information about who openly endorses the use of, or discloses, a personal past history of an eating disorder in their clinical work. Each was emailed a three-question survey and was promised anonymity. A total of 12 eating disorder specialists—from different disciplines, locations within the United States, and treatment approaches (evidence-based, psychoanalytic, eclectic, Intuitive Eating, etc.) —offered their perspectives on practitioners self-disclosing personal recovery from an eating disorder along with the potential benefits and risks.
My questionnaire was informal and the sample size small, so it cannot be considered a representative sample or provide research-worthy statistics. However, the following unanimity surprised me: All practitioners seemed to support a clinician’s eating disorder recovery disclosure, though, some with caution. For example, practitioners stressed that disclosure should be “for the right reasons” and offered stipulations such as, “After the clinician has enough information and knows enough about the client to feel very confident that it would be in the client’s best interest,” and “Disclosure needs to be handled on a case-by-case reasoning and only done when it will benefit the client’s treatment and developing recovery storyline.” Others highlighted the importance of a careful, thoughtful approach. Despite the stipulations, it was clear; there seemed to be an acceptance and clinical valuing of a recovered practitioner’s experience.
Furthermore, the survey respondents identified potential benefits of self-disclosure by recovered clinicians, and a dominant theme emerged: increased hope (e.g., that “someone else made it out” and “that recovery is, in fact, possible”). As one clinician stated, “After all, how can someone be committed to treatment and recovery if they don’t think it is possible to obtain?”
Support for recovery self-disclosure reported by practitioners (even from those whose orientations may not traditionally embrace this kind of self-disclosure) felt exciting to me. With this interesting new data, I reached out to Carolyn to share the survey responses. We both wanted to pursue gathering similar but additional information, this time from self-identified “recovered” clinicians. We hoped to learn more about, help clarify the experience of, and compose guidelines for recovered eating disorder providers who use self-disclosure of their eating disorder past in their work.

Brief Synopsis of the Recovered Providers Survey

The following is a brief description of our survey and the overall themes of the respondents. A detailed summary of the results is found at the end of this article.
Adding 11 questions to the original survey’s three questions, we distributed the survey on a Facebook page, “Recovered Eating Disorder Professionals,” and through emails. We received feedback from 45 practitioners of various disciplines (coaches, dietitians, medical doctors, mentors, and therapists). Therapists made up the majority of the group (at 35 out of the total of 45). The respondents were from various locations in and outside of the United States. All identified themselves as being “recovered” from an eating disorder for at least two years.
44 out of 45 “recovered” practitioners responded that they do generally use self-disclosure of their recovery in their work; with one not responding to the question. Consistent with the dozen respondents in the first group of practitioners, a majority regarded self-disclosure of recovery as valuable for instilling hope that “recovery is possible,” that “an eating disorder is not forever,” and more. In fact, most (30 of 45) used the word “hope” in their answers. Additional named benefits included rapport building, clients feeling understood, and clients not feeling judged/feeling less shame.
Even for recovered practitioners trained to use their past history in clinically relevant and helpful ways, self-disclosure of one’s eating disorder recovery brings complications that need to be navigated. Our “recovered” respondents brought up similar concerns to those expressed by colleagues in the field who question such self-disclosure. Aspects that require consideration and attention:
  • “Boundary issues in general” can increase.
  • Comparisons by the client can happen, “either real or imagined – body size and shape and imagining what my history has been and how it differs or is worse/better.”
  • Clients “may feel competitive” (e.g., speed of recovery, severity of illness experienced, etc.).
  • Over-identification by the therapist can create “blind spots” and opportunities to “make mistakes in assuming” instead of learning the client’s experience.
  • Self-disclosure can come off as a “tactic” or “a desperate attempt to ‘bond’ with the clients” rather “than an authentic connection that slowly develops.”
  • Focus distractions can challenge treatment (e.g., “the client may attempt to shift the focus off of them” and onto the practitioner).
  • Many practitioners feel that self-disclosure can bring about increased scrutiny of them (e.g., body, food intake, and other behaviors) by both clients and professionals. A clinician that openly identifies as “recovered” can face scrutiny from colleagues who don’t necessarily believe that one can be fully recovered.
  • Finally, there is “always the potential for patients to become worried about ‘triggering you.’”
Of interest, when asked if a personal history of an eating disorder has ever put the practitioner at risk for a relapse or setback, 3 of the 45 reported a setback or a relapse. However, most made statements suggesting the opposite; that it made their recovery stronger.
“I feel like it’s kept me aware of my own experiences and supported my efforts to be mindful and balanced in my own skin.”  Respondent from Group 2
Alli:
Overall, most respondents favored self-disclosure and expressed that it needs to be approached thoughtfully, as it comes with inherent benefits and risks. However, without guidelines or available supervision on disclosure of one’s eating disorder history, which most agreed did not readily exist, how does a recovered practitioner thoughtfully approach self-disclosure? What can be helpful to know or consider?
Of the eating disorder programs currently in existence, we know of only three examples where recovered eating disorder treatment providers are trained and supervised on how to best use their past history of an eating disorder in their work. The three programs are: The Emily Program in the United States, Human Concern in the Netherlands, and all programs founded by Carolyn Costin.
Carolyn is a pioneer in the use of self-disclosure as a hope-instilling, therapeutic intervention. She has developed and run multiple treatment centers, written 6 books, and spoken at conferences about her approach and success with eating disorders. Carolyn has trained hundreds—probably thousands—of practitioners (including me) throughout her 37+ years in the eating disorder field, including how to use one’s own eating disorder history when treating eating disorder clients.
In the following sections, Carolyn reviews background on self-disclosure and offers written guidelines for recovered eating disorder providers who use personal recovery self-disclosure in their work. We believe these guidelines may be the first of their kind.

Background on Self-Disclosure of Recovered Providers

Carolyn:
As previously referenced in our first article, literature on therapists self-disclosing their own eating disorder history indicates that it can be an effective intervention (therapeutic tool) with positive effects. However, the eating disorder field has conflicting views on recovered clinicians working in the field, and if they do, disclosing their eating disorder history. In Part 1 of this article we described various concerns that have been expressed:
  • “Can someone even be fully recovered?”
  • “How can you tell when someone is really recovered?”
  • “When is a provider recovered enough to treat others?”
  • How can the provider avoid over-identification, boundary crossing?
  • What if the provider relapses?
Here in Part 2, I analyze and summarize the perspectives we received from recovered providers who use self-disclosure in their work with eating disorder clients. The information from these providers, along with my years of experience training recovered providers, was combined to establish written guidelines. We greatly appreciate our colleagues who participated in these surveys, and I am continuing to collect and analyze additional contributions.
A standard rule of thumb generally given for self-disclosure of any kind in a therapeutic relationship is that it must be in the “best interest of the client.” We definitely saw this theme in our surveys where, “Self-disclosure only in the client’s best interest,” was clearly the most prominent theme discussed by clinicians and other providers regarding when, and if, to disclose a personal eating disorder history.
It makes sense that the client’s best interest is the touchstone for ethical self-disclosure, and it has been discussed in various papers, articles, and books on therapeutic boundaries. However, it begs the question of how one decides exactly what is in the best interest of the client and what is not. Information gathered from our survey respondents reinforces both that there are positive benefits of self-disclosure and that providers are thoughtful about when and how to do so. However, the information that respondents provided falls short of helping others who are trying to learn best practices for self-disclosure. For example, if clinicians share something to instill hope or motivation, what is considered hopeful and what is not? What motivates one client but not another? And, of course, here is where the art, and not the science, of therapy comes into play; every client, every circumstance, and every therapeutic relationship is different. Nevertheless, I know from my experience training recovered providers that specifics can be taught and guidelines established that help lead to fewer complications and greater success.
My fundamental bias is that it is always in the best interest of the client to know that I am recovered from an eating disorder. I’ve self-disclosed since 1979 and am known for my stance on this, so most clients know I am recovered before coming into my office. However, even years ago, before I had spoken about this publicly and before my books were published, I always disclosed my own eating disorder history in my first session. I have yet to find a reason to keep this from clients or why it would not be in the client’s best interest to know. To this day, I still get clients who say they have never heard they could be fully “recovered” and/or have never met anyone who was “recovered.” My sharing that I am recovered is often the first time clients hear that it is even possible, which I find profoundly disturbing. Imagine being treated for something and having no example of someone who has completely recovered from it. Therefore, for 37 years, I have disclosed to every client that I had an eating disorder, that I recovered, and that they can do so, too. However, what details I disclose, to whom, when, why, and how I disclose are much more complex and nuanced and deserve thoughtful attention.
Over the years, through trial and error, I developed my own guiding principles for hiring and training recovered clinicians. Here, with information gathered from 45 recovered practitioners who also use self-disclosure, I have established written guidelines. All of the guidelines presented have been put into practice successfully and can be easily applied and discussed with colleagues or in ongoing supervision. However, guidelines can never take the place of a practitioner making the best call in the moment for a particular client and circumstance.

Self–Disclosure Guidelines for Recovered Eating Disorder Practitioners

By Carolyn Costin, MFT, FAED, CEDS
Note: These guidelines use the term “recovered” rather than “recovering” or “in recovery.” A definition of what is meant by “recovered” is provided.
Recovered providers who self-disclose say they share their history to provide hope and motivation, and always in the best interest of the client, but those are not clear guidelines. What motivates? What inspires? What is in the client’s best interest? The answers to these questions cannot be taken for granted. It is all too easy to get trapped into disclosing something meant to be helpful that turns out to be triggering. Of course, clients will get triggered by things, and this cannot be completely prevented. However, much of it can be avoided with proper planning and preparation. The following guidelines, written for practitioners, offer specific parameters and suggestions to help break down self-disclosure into appropriate, usable, hands-on practices.
  1. Providers Should Meet the Definition of “Recovered” For at Least Two Years
The eating disorder field does not have a standard, accepted definition of what it means to be recovered. For years, I have used my own definition that can be found in 8 Keys to Recovery From An Eating Disorder (Carolyn Costin and Gwen Grabb). I share my definition with clients and refer to it when hiring and training recovered professionals.
Recovered:
“Being recovered is when the person can accept his or her natural body size and shape and no longer has a self-destructive relationship with food or exercise. When you are recovered, food and weight take a proper perspective in your life, and what you weigh is not more important than who you are; in fact, actual numbers are of little or no importance at all. When recovered, you will not compromise your health or betray your soul to look a certain way, wear a certain size, or reach a certain number on the scale. When you are recovered, you do not use eating disorder behaviors to deal with, distract from, or cope with other problems.” (Costin/Grabb)
Make sure you have been recovered for at least two years before you work with eating disorder clients so you are solid in your recovery. This time period will give you time to work through the inevitable triggers that come from living in a weight and diet obsessed culture or from any psychological stressors that arise. If you have gone two years living your life and dealing with issues without resorting to eating disorder behaviors, chances are you have found other coping mechanisms, leaving the eating disorder behind, a thing of the past. Being solid in your recovery is important because working with clients can bring up potentially triggering issues and you need to be prepared for it.
You might feel that after six months or a year of solid recovery that you are ready to start working with clients with eating disorders. However, it is crucial for your future clients and for your health and well-being that you allow at least two years to elapse between the time you become recovered and the time you start seeing clients with eating disorders. The two-year time frame allows you to discover how you deal with a multitude of challenges and stressful situations in the absence of your eating disorder. It will also allow you to develop strong empirical evidence for helpful coping strategies you can share with your clients.
Some eager practitioners have started in the field too soon, disclosing their own eating disorder, unprepared for the difficulties they would encounter and the multitude of issues that arise. A few have relapsed and needed to go back to treatment.
Clinicians who begin working with eating disorders too early and relapse as a result can create a negative experience for the client. It can be extremely discouraging for a client to see someone who claimed to be recovered, but then relapsed. It is important to note that practitioners should not hide or feel ashamed to seek help if they feel they are slipping into old thoughts and behaviors.  Ongoing support, supervision, and mentoring are crucial and may prevent a relapse.
  1. Tell Clients What You Mean by “Recovered” and How It Might Differ From Other Terms
Tell clients what you mean when you use the term “recovered.” You can share the definition of recovered that is spelled out in these guidelines and explain it as the goal.
Some clients might want/need to understand the difference between “recovered” and other terms they hear or use, such as “recovering” or “in recovery.” Clients who are using a 12-step model will need help navigating the situation if you are using a different term than those used in their 12-step meetings or by their sponsor. Be prepared to discuss the different points of view regarding these terms and how you can work with a client who does not feel comfortable with the term “recovered.”
Ideally, we would like all clients to embrace the idea of being recovered as a goal. If a client isn’t comfortable with the term “recovered,” it’s important to address it, including how it affects their feelings about you as a recovered practitioner. It’s possible that the client has never met anyone who is recovered and doesn’t believe in it for that reason. In a case like this, you can teach the client about it and be a positive example of what “recovered” can be.  However, there might be instances where the client has a fundamental opposition to using this term. If this is something that seems to be problematic, then collaborate with the client to find a way you can work together. You do not have to push your terms onto the client, and there are many ways to sort out this situation. There could also be cases where it might be better to refer out to a trusted colleague who you believe might be a better fit.
  1. Focus Self-Disclosure on Empathy, Understanding, and How You Got Better 
The following is a basic list on what to disclose versus what not to disclose. Details are given in the other guidelines.
  • Share specifics on how you got through things rather than specifics on why you got an eating disorder or details of your eating disorder behaviors. Share few specifics on how sick you were. You may have to share some information so clients know that your eating disorder was real, but certainly NO numbers, no amount of calories you ate, your (past or present) weight, miles you ran, laxatives you took, times a day you binged, etc. These should not be shared—ever.
  • Share to express empathy, understanding, and bonding (e.g. that getting better is hard and feels bad, but is worth it).
  • Share things to reduce the client’s shame (e.g., if a client is feeling badly regarding lying about how much food he ate, if you did the same, you could share that when you had an eating disorder you lied about the amount of food you ate, too). There are numerous opportunities to share things that can help reduce shame because you will find that clients often feel shame about things you did too. Your sharing can help them feel better about where they are and where they can get to.
  • Share sometimes for levity in the session. Sharing things that help clients laugh at themselves is useful. Of course, you have to be careful about this and know your client’s sense of humor.
  • Share to inspire hope when a client feels like something can’t be done. As a recovered person, there were undoubtedly many times along the way when you thought you would not be able to stop doing something or begin doing something, but eventually were able.
  • Share things from your experience about how recovery can be progressing, even when it might not feel that way.
  • Share examples of how being recovered is easy once you get there and that it does not have to be a difficult, ongoing battle. People who are recovered can uniquely share this important perspective. Clients often think recovery will be an ongoing lifelong struggle to stay well and may not accept hearing otherwise from people who have not been there.
  • Share strategies that worked by disclosing things you did that helped you. Clients might be more willing to hang in there or try something if they have a real-life example of how it can work.
  • Don’t just share for sharing sake. Instead, disclose in response to something the client says or is struggling with. For example, clients who express doubt about stopping laxative abuse for fear of not being able to return to regular bowel movements may benefit from hearing that from someone who has gone through this and is fine. More on this in guideline 4.
  • Avoid sharing things that allow clients to make easy comparisons to you. More on this in guideline 6.
  • Assess how clients are responding to your disclosures (verbally and by their body language) to help determine how much or how little to share.
  1. Disclose Information Based on the Patient and the Issues That Arise in Therapy
After your initial disclosure of being recovered, be specific and thoughtful about whom you are disclosing to and when. A good guideline is to share things when you think it matches something the client is dealing with or has mentioned. Be careful not to over-identify too quickly with them. Let their dialogue unfold and avoid responding too soon. Other than general disclosure of being recovered from your own eating disorder, most self-disclosure should come in response to issues the client is dealing with at the time.
You might disclose, for example, how you stopped counting calories if a client is having a hard time with that, or how you managed to deal with cutting back on exercise (if your client is addicted to exercise), or how you learned to reach out to others (if the client is having a hard time doing so). You might also disclose ways you dealt with body image issues when a client is struggling with that particular issue. All of this keeps the focus on how you got through things rather than how sick you were.
 5Disclose Based on Who You Are Disclosing To
Take into account the client’s age, cultural background, religious beliefs, gender identity, relationship status, and, of course, their basic sensitivities, personality, and personality traits when choosing what and when to disclose. You may innocently share an experience that could be off-putting to your client, because you did not take into account one or more of these factors. For example, you may feel that prayer or reading the Bible helped you recover, but your client might not feel comfortable with prayer, might not be religious, or might believe in a different religion that does not use the Bible.
  1. Never Discuss Horror Stories of How Ill You Were or Give Detailed Specifics of Your Eating Disorder Behaviors
Initially sharing you had an eating disorder and which eating disorder is often enough for clients. They do not need details of how ill you were or awful things you did. Some clients will want, or benefit from more information than others. The key is letting clients know you had a real, legitimate eating disorder without giving them unnecessary details that are useless or potentially damaging. For example, a client might benefit from knowing you too were emaciated and still saw yourself as fat, but hearing that you only ate an apple all day or could count all of your ribs is not appropriate. A client hearing this kind of information now has something to compare themselves or their behaviors to. In other words, this kind of information might cause the client to think, “I eat way more than an apple a day, I need to cut back,” or “I can’t count all of my ribs, I need to lose more weight.” Be as general as possible, for example, saying you over-exercised and suffered injuries and yet were able to get exercise back in proper balance can provide empathy and hope to an exercise addict. Saying you ran 10 miles or did Ironman competitions is unnecessary and can easily lead to comparison and potential triggers.
  1. Dont Discuss Numbers (Weight Lost or Gained, Number of Calories Eaten in a Day, Number of Miles Run, Amount of Laxatives Taken, etc.)
Discussions involving numbers nearly always fuel competition and do not serve a purpose that can’t be served in another, healthier way. Depending on the client and the situation, you can say you lost far too much weight, or you over-exercised and lied about it, or you ate very little, or you binged often, or took enough laxatives such that stopping was difficult but doable. These statements can help clients see that you were actually in a situation similar to theirs and got yourself out of it, which can provide guidance and hope. None of these examples gives the clients a direct number that their eating disorder self will try to compete with, consciously or not.
  1. Do Not Discuss Any Limiting Behavior You Have Regarding Eating
What you eat will likely be more important to your clients than you think it should be, but as someone who says they are recovered, what you eat is usually of great interest. It is best if you can discuss and, if applicable, model eating all foods in balance. The goal for clients is to be as free with food as possible. Any eating limitations you have out of preference or for medical reasons is best kept to yourself. For example, if you are a vegetarian or eat gluten-free, don’t discuss this with clients. If you work in a treatment program or other setting where you and your clients will interact with food, it might be hard to conceal that you are a vegetarian or don’t eat gluten, or have other food limitations, but do your best.  Legitimate medical issues must take precedence, but it is best to put preferences aside when eating with clients. It is not that being a vegetarian or eating gluten-free are not viable ways of having a healthy diet for some people; instead, it is the fact that people with eating disorders often find reasons to eliminate foods for the wrong reasons. Clients often jump to conclusions such as, “If my therapist (or other provider) is not eating dairy why should I?”  If you are in a situation where you have to reveal food limitations you have for a legitimate medical reason, such as gluten intolerance, explain it quickly and matter-of-factly, rather than trying to skirt around it. Be brief and do not continue to answer ongoing questions. Direct the conversation back to all the things you can eat and how you hope the client will focus on that.
  1. Be Comfortable In Your Body
Even if a practitioner has never had an eating disorder and is working with eating disorder clients, the increased focus on the body and weight can be expected when working with clients in this population. Whether a provider struggled with an eating disorder in the past or not, those who treat eating disorders need to be comfortable in their own skin and prepared to deal with scrutiny about all aspects of their body, its shape, and function.
When you self-disclose about being recovered, you must be prepared for even closer scrutiny of your body and your relationship to it. Clients will want to know if you accept or like your body. They will usually compare their body to yours, try to determine your weight and how it compares to theirs, and decide if your recovered body would be “acceptable” to them.  You need to be comfortable with your body and know what to say and not say about it in order to deal with clients observing, asking questions, and making comments.
It can be helpful for clients to hear from you that being recovered does not mean being perfect, never having a bad body image thought, or never wishing you looked different. Some form of body image dissatisfaction is normative and we need to be careful not to set, or have clients set, expectations too high in this area. They need to understand that body image issues are evident in people who never even had an eating disorder and that they might continue to have some, too. That said, I have witnessed many recovered individuals who actually have less body image dissatisfaction than the norm.
Clients might make direct comments about your body: “I could never let my thighs get as big as yours,” “I don’t want to look like you,” “That’s easy for you to say because you are skinny,” or “How do you stay so thin?”   Being comfortable with your body and unflappable when it comes to hearing these kinds of comments is important.  It is also important to be prepared for how to respond.
When a client says something specific about your body, you might lighten things by laughing a bit, or discuss their tendency to make comparisons and the consequences of that. You could ask for further clarification, or ask how the client thinks you feel about their comment, or how others might feel if the client said the same thing to them.
If a client makes a comment about a specific body part, you can take the focus off of the aesthetic and bring it to how that part of your body serves you, e.g., “I love having strong legs” and further expound on an activity you enjoy where having strong legs serves you.
There is not one way to respond but a key here is not becoming defensive or argumentative.
If you have a session where your body was the subject of discussion, pay attention to be sure that you are not holding onto thoughts or feelings about it. Nobody likes to hear something challenging or critical about themselves or their body, so be honest with yourself about how you are handling what was said and how you responded. It is wise to discuss any lingering discomfort in supervision or with a trusted colleague.
  1. Accept that You Are a Role Model, and Be the Best One You Can Be
Whether you say it or not, anything you share with clients, or do in front of them, can be viewed by them as “what being recovered looks like,” thus, this makes you a “role model.”  It is important to be a good role model at all times, even when you don’t feel like it. Frame what you share with clients in a way that sends a positive message.  As mentioned earlier, you are allowed to have bad body image days, most females and many males on the planet do, but feeling badly about your body is not useful information to share with clients. If in a situation where you are asked about your body or your feelings toward your body, even if you are having a “bad” day, find a way to share something positive or at the very least neutral.
Regarding eating, strive to be the best role model you can. As mentioned in guideline 8, it is best not to reveal any eating limitations. This does not mean you don’t have preferences or foods that you don’t eat. It simply means that you do not disclose this to clients unless put in a situation where for some reason you have to. If in a situation like this, you will likely need to identify a good reason why you don’t eat a certain food (e.g., doctor’s orders) and eat in a way that alleviates any of the client’s fears that you are “restricting.” If you are a vegetarian, for example, when eating with clients, it is easy to avoid revealing this by eating their fear foods such as pasta, pizza, lasagna, avocados, nuts, butter, bread, cakes, ice cream, candy bars, etc. All of these are vegetarian but that will most likely not be what the client notices. Clients are not usually waiting to see if you can eat grilled chicken or fish; they want to know you can and will eat the things they are really afraid of. So, when eating with clients, or talking about eating, let them know how easily you can eat foods they consider fattening or scary.
Remember that everything you do, especially when it comes to food, is going to be investigated by the client. There are behaviors that healthy people do when eating that can also be eating disorder behaviors. It is important not to do these in front of the clients. For example, if you are having a salad with a client and you like to order the dressing on the side and put it on the salad yourself, don’t do it. Just order it and let it be served. Many people without eating disorders put their own dressing on salad and no one cares, but this kind of behavior can have a significant effect on clients who see you do it.  They may think you fear oil, like they do, and might feel justified not wanting to eat it. For the same reason, it is best not to do things like drink diet sodas with clients, even if you think, “I am not the one with the eating disorder and should not have to abstain.” (This sentiment has been expressed several times by clinicians in training.) Think of the situation as similar to treating people with alcohol or substance abuse. If you were working in a chemical dependency treatment program and having lunch with a patient who was trying to become abstinent from alcohol, you would not have a beer with your meal. In support of the patient, you abstain too, rather than making it harder for them. At some point, clients will have to deal with all kinds of triggers such as people drinking diet sodas, going on diets or doing other things the client needs to avoid, but as a treatment provider, your job is to be a positive role model not a triggering one. It may be appropriate, at some point, for clients who are doing well to have challenging meal sessions where you purposely eat in a way so as to expose them to potential triggers and help them learn how to handle it. These kinds of exposure sessions have to be done at the right time in therapy and in collaboration with the client.
There are many other ways that your clients will be looking to you as a role model. If you do disclose something about your life – a recent vacation you went on, a trip to an amusement park – it might be useful to point out that you weren’t able to enjoy these things when you were ill. It is usually OK to use specifics here, because you are giving the client specific details about being recovered. You can tell them that you used to dread, or even avoid vacations because you were so fearful about eating different foods, having to eat with others, missing workouts, etc. and now, as a recovered person, you don’t have any of those thoughts while traveling or preparing for a trip.
Some might feel that a guideline that asks treatment providers to be a role model for clients is too much pressure. However, once you self-disclose your recovery, you are a role model of someone who is recovered, whether you want to be or not. If this feels like too much pressure, then it is probably best not to disclose your eating disorder history. However, be aware that whether you disclose your past or not, clients may still look to you as a role model for other reasons.
  1. Be Prepared to Deal With Increased Scrutiny About What You Eat, How Much You Exercise and Your Behaviors (Including Your Appearance, Clothing, etc.)
Scrutiny regarding weight and body size happens from clients towards all practitioners, not just practitioners who have had an eating disorder. Yet, recovered clinicians are examined on deeper and more varied levels, partly because more has been exposed. The increased level of being watched and studied from clients regarding what you eat, or wear, or how much you weigh, or if you are really recovered can become bothersome and clinicians often cite this as a disadvantage of self-disclosure.   Instead of thinking of this as a disadvantage, the comparisons and scrutiny from clients should be expected and accepted as part of the therapeutic process to work through. When a clinician is Recovered, he or she might feel annoyed by the watchful eyes of and comments from clients but should not get triggered by it. Clinicians trained to use their eating disorder recovery can openly discuss scrutiny and comparisons in the therapeutic work with the client. Sometimes you can answer the client’s questions and move on, and sometimes you can ask for further information such as:
  • “I am interested why you want to know that?” “What might that mean to you to know?”
  • “How would it change you or what you do if that were true or not true about me?”
  • “It seems you are comparing yourself to me and I think it would be important for us to talk about that.”
Food, calories, and weight are going to come up a lot. When recovered, you will be in a place where you consume food without thinking about the caloric or fat content, but clients will be constantly reminding you of the nutritional value of everyday items, talking about how “bad” or “fattening” they are. Be sure you process these conversations and make sure they don’t affect your own eating. If you find yourself having hesitation about eating certain things or changing your eating behaviors, seek out supervision.
If a client criticizes your body, don’t get into an argument and don’t get defensive. Hear the person; do your best to understand where the comment is coming from and what the client might be trying to express. Express your understanding, and depending on how things are presented, you might even thank the person for their honesty. Try to end things on a positive note; for example, acknowledge that the client was able to share this information with you. Stay neutral, even if you feel like you are being judged or attacked. Remember that you are having a conversation with the client’s eating disorder self, and you need to come from a place of compassion and understanding.
  1. Be Clear that Recovery Can Mean Many Different Things and Take Many Different Paths and Phases 
Be careful about over-identifying with a client’s story. Be curious about your client’s unique experience and open to the fact that there are many variables and many paths to recovery.  Clients may relate to some things about your experience and not others. For example, if you share that in your recovery you discovered that you loved cooking and this is one of the things that helped you recover, make sure the client understands that falling in love with cooking helped you but may not help him or her. If you place too much emphasis on something you did that helped you recover, and your clients don’t want to do it or it does not feel right to them, they might think they are doing something wrong.  Clients might also fake an interest in something for fear of disappointing you, which can prevent them from discovering what is truly best for them. All clients need to understand that while something may have helped you, you accept and embrace the fact that it doesn’t mean it will be helpful for them.
Comparisons often happen regarding how you got well, how long it took, what kind of providers you saw, etc. Most of this kind of talk is best avoided. It is ok to share different strategies you used if you have reason to believe this will help your client. However, remember that clients might need to do things differently than you. If so, come up with other ideas.
  1. Know Your Boundaries and How to Explain Them to Clients
Know your boundaries around self-disclosure and the relationship between you and your clients and how to talk about these things.  While it’s impossible to predict every question, you can prepare yourself by having clear answers for clients about why you don’t disclose certain things, e.g., past or present food intake, weight, etc. The guidelines here will be useful in helping you cover things that need to be talked about.
Clients may not know the value of rules about maintaining a therapeutic relationship. Even if you are not a therapist but rather a dietitian or eating disorder coach, there are boundaries to the relationship that are important and need to be clear.
You might be the first treatment provider to self-disclose to a client. Some clients might mistakenly perceive that lines have been blurred if you self-disclose without explaining the reasoning and discussing your boundaries. Clients are more likely to misinterpret your self-disclosure as a friendly overture if they have no understanding of why you are sharing personal information. Discussing boundaries can help prevent this. Some preliminary discussion around boundaries can be held in the very beginning, but other things just have to be discussed as they arise. To say you will share information but not about this, or this, or this, can be off-putting. When clients ask questions that cross your line of comfort it is ok to share that when it happens, as long as they have a general understanding of how you work.
The point here is that the client must understand that you are acting in a professional capacity and your self-disclosure is not a slip-up or confession, otherwise they might begin to view you more as a peer than a clinician.
  1. Do Not Share Things that Make You Uncomfortable
Always check in with yourself before answering questions regarding your eating disorder history and recovery. Sometimes you will not know cognitively why not to disclose, but it will be a feeling. This can take a split second, but you need to notice if there is a feeling in your body telling you not to answer, or that answering does not feel right. Pay attention to this, and take some time before responding. You might need a minute or a few days. During this time, you can benefit from supervision focused on handling the situation. To create the space you may need, you can even say, “I want to think a bit (or awhile) before answering that.” If you decide not to answer (which is usually the best bet if you even have a trace of discomfort), then you can say something like:
  • “I want to think about whether it would be useful for you if I answered.”
  • “I don’t see how it would be helpful to tell you.”
  • “Those kinds of questions are a distraction from what you need to do.”
You have to know how to say “No” when asked to disclose information that you don’t want to share. So, go over in your mind what kinds of things would work best for you to ensure that you won’t be caught off-guard when you find yourself in this situation.
Your comfort with the information you share is of paramount importance. Clients will usually readily pick up on your discomfort, sensing when you are uncomfortable answering a question they asked. You can share that discomfort. You can potentially say, “Answering your question would make me uncomfortable because I don’t think it’s useful information for you,” or “I don’t feel comfortable sharing personal information just to share, and in this case, I don’t think it would be beneficial.”
The key is being honest, with kindness and without giving too much away. If you feel uncomfortable and answer the question anyway, clients might assume your discomfort is because you are not telling the truth or are not really recovered. Remember, they typically scrutinize everything you say and do. So, do not disclose anything that makes you uncomfortable. Over time, you will get better and better at listening to your body’s subtle feedback about when and what to share and you will get increasingly more adept at handling difficult questions, whether you answer them directly or not.
  1. Check for Feedback 
Ask clients about their experience of you as a recovered person/therapist. Does the client have doubts about whether or not you are fully recovered? Does the client believe that someone CAN be fully recovered? Is the client worried that something he or she might say will possibly trigger you? It is important to have an open and honest conversation about these topics with your client. If your client does not believe in full recovery, or doesn’t believe that you are fully recovered, accept it and discuss it. Not doing so could cause the client to disregard or distrust some of the things you say or to have less faith in you in general. Talk openly about these things with clients, try to ease any discomfort, and do your best not to challenge their position. Instead, validate their thoughts or concerns, and help them figure out if there is anything you can do. It is usually helpful to share that you know you can’t prove you are recovered, that the client will have to decide for themselves, and that you understand and respect this.
Some clients might conjure up mental images of you as emaciated, overweight, weak, or binging and purging.  You can explore this with clients in session and talk through their images and the thoughts and feelings associated. It might be worthwhile to ask them to juxtapose their images of you from the past with the version of you they know now.  Visualizing you as sick or hopeless and contrasting that with the person who is sitting in front of them today, recovered and in a position to help others, can be powerful. This is a useful reframe and one way to transform what might have been a negative situation.
  1. Repair Any Disclosure That Has Gone Wrong
There is not one simple disclosure formula that will work for every client, every time. This is one of the reasons why so many self-disclosing clinicians refer to using their clinical instinct and best judgment as to when to disclose, what to disclose, and to whom to disclose.
There is inherent trial and error during this process. You might have thought through a disclosure and felt it was right; yet it backfired. You might say something then notice a certain look from the client or recognize that the client seems to have wandered off mentally since you made the comment. The client might actually say something either in the moment or later. You could ask for feedback even if you don’t see any signs. In any case, if something seems to go wrong, e.g., the client is upset, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you did anything wrong or that the client did anything wrong, and it’s important that both parties understand that. The important thing is to rectify the situation with the client. If done correctly, it can be a learning experience for both of you since you will discover certain nuances about what is or isn’t effective for each client. Additionally, the client will learn that he or she can be open and honest with you if something doesn’t feel right for him or her. If the situation is handled properly, it encourages open communication and can strengthen the bond between you and your client.
Sometimes clinicians can get stuck in problem-solving mode and forget that it’s OK to just admit that something went wrong and simply say, “I’m sorry” to the client. You don’t have to analyze every situation from a “therapeutic” point of view. There is something very powerful and humanizing when you just turn to your client and say “I’m sorry,” if, in fact, you are sorry about what transpired. If something went wrong and you do not feel sorry about it, approach the discussion in a different way, but do not be dishonest with the client, or yourself, and say “I’m sorry” if you are not sorry about whatever happened. Clients can, and usually will, pick up on insincerity. An empty apology has the potential to do more harm than no apology at all.
Whether or not you feel it is appropriate to apologize for something (there will be instances where things go wrong and there is no apology necessary on either side), it’s important to still talk about the situation with the client. Ask the client to articulate what didn’t feel right about the disclosure, acknowledge his or her feelings, making sure he or she knows they are heard, and then discuss ways you can approach this situation differently in the future. It is important to validate the client’s feelings, discuss the situation, and ensure that the client is comfortable before moving forward.
  1. Get Well-Rounded Training, Don’t Go Directly From Having an Eating Disorder to Treating Eating Disorders
As has already been mentioned, it is important to wait two years after being recovered before working with clients who have eating disorders. It is also important to get well-rounded training before treating eating disorders. Many eager recovered clinicians want to give back and start treating eating disorders right away. But when you treat people with eating disorders, you will also need to know how to deal with anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorders, depression, substance abuse, and many other comorbidities that often occur with eating disorders. Being trained to handle these other illnesses will improve any provider’s ability to successfully treat eating disorder clients.
  1. Have Ongoing Supervision Meetings Where Any Issues Can Be Discussed
When using your experiences of recovery in your work with clients, getting good supervision or consultation with colleagues is important for success, helps prevent potential problems, and helps resolve issues in a more expedient manner.
Being honest about what comes up when working with clients is critical to processing feelings and letting them go. In supervision, transference and countertransference issues can be worked through, boundary issues can be discussed, over-identification with clients can be curtailed, and old thoughts and feelings surrounding the eating disorder history can be dealt with.
Especially at the start of this type of work, some sessions may bring up strong feelings. You need to know how to best handle things in the moment and where to go for supervision and support. After a session where a client similar to you discusses things in graphic detail, you might find yourself triggered in some way, shape, or form. Supervision and consultation with colleagues can help prevent a potential vulnerability from turning into a slip or relapse. Each experience will better prepare you to handle these types of situations in the future.
Ideally, clinicians who want to disclose their eating disorder history and use their recovery experience in their work could get their required, or any desired, supervision from another seasoned recovered clinician. Someone who has recovered from an eating disorder, worked with eating disorder clients, and has supervision skills, will likely be prepared to help guide others in the nuances of, and how best to use one’s personal recovery. If you don’t have access to a recovered supervisor, seek supervision from a professional with the willingness and expertise to guide you in using your own recovery history. Getting the right supervision can significantly contribute to success.

Summary of Responses to Recovered Providers Survey

By Carolyn Costin, MFT, FAED, CEDS
Special thanks to this section’s co-author, Jeanette Batur BA, Eating Disorder Coach
Note: All authors were survey respondents and are included in the analysis.
At the time of this analysis, there were 47 respondents to the Recovered Providers Survey posted on the Facebook page, “Recovered Eating Disorder Professionals.” Since 2 respondents were not currently working with eating disorder clients, (respondents, #15 and #46), we removed them from the response sets and analysis, leaving us with a total of 45.
  1. Are you in favor of clinicians disclosing personal recovery from an eating disorder to their current clients with an eating disorder? (*If yes, please proceed to the next questions).
Two out of the 45 respondents did not answer this question. Of the 43 who answered, 42, (97.67%) said “yes,” indicating that they are in favor of clinicians disclosing personal recovery to their current clients with an eating disorder.
One respondent who answered, but didn’t provide “yes” or “no” response, said that “it depends on the level of recovery of the person” and indicated in Question 2 that she uses self-disclosure of her history “often” in her work with clients.
One respondent who did not answer this question acknowledged the potential benefits of a clinician self-disclosing in her response to question 14, “…if and when it happens, it seems to help pave the way for a potential bond or connection with a client who is struggling with an eating disorder,” which, she notes, “has the potential to relieve the client of some fear and/or shame and may give them a glimpse of hope.”
While the majority of respondents answered with a simple “yes” to this question, several stated that self-disclosure be done only if it would be beneficial to the client.
  1. Do you personally use self-disclosure of your own eating disorder history in your work with clients? (If yes, how often—always/automatically, some of the time, never)?
No Answer = 1 (This response has been taken out as it cannot be assumed a yes or a no)
Yes = 44/44 (100%)
*Automatically or Always = 16/44 (36.36%)
*Selectively (Those who answered “yes,” but not Automatically/Always, e.g., “sometimes” or “most of the time”) = 28/44 (63.64%)
No= 0/44 (0%) 
100% (44/44) said that they do use self-disclosure of their own eating disorder history (either always or sometimes) in their work with clients. The one who did not answer was the same individual from the question 1, so while she has self-disclosed, she did not specify whether or not this is something she “uses” in her work.
Of the 44 respondents, about 36.36% (16/44) said that they disclosed automatically, either on their website or just as part of who they are and how they relate to clients/potential clients. The other 28 said they disclosed selectively, i.e., they either disclose sometimes or most of the time – depending on the situation/client, but do not do so automatically.
One respondent noted that she previously worked in an inpatient ED unit that had a no self-disclosure policy, but now in a situation where she is able to openly self-disclose, she does so “often.”
3.What are the three to five best advantages you have seen/experienced from disclosing your history with patients/clients?
The most frequent response to this question was about hope. Almost everyone referred to hope in some way, shape, or formwith 30 respondents (68.18%) specifically using the word. Others alluded to hope, saying things like “clients learn recovery is possible firsthand,” “clients believe in recovery,” and “It helps them to know that I struggled once and came out happier and more whole as a result of my recovery.”
Other benefits cited by respondents were: rapport, clients feeling understood, clients not feeling judged, and feeling less shame.
“They know that I have at least a window into their experience that is more than just theoretical”.
  1. What are the three to five disadvantages of disclosing your personal history of an eating disorder?
Many felt that self-disclosure brought about increased scrutiny of their body, food intake, and other behaviors. Two respondents (a therapist and a coach) noted that disclosure of an eating disorder history might make the client perceive the practitioner as flawed. A third cited a client’s family using her self-disclosure as a way to discredit the work she was doing with their daughter, as if she wouldn’t know how to help because she had been anorexic, too, which implies the same ‘flawed’ assumption the other two noted.
Some noted that self-disclosure might create boundary issues. At least one respondent thought that self-disclosure could appear “unprofessional” and clients might feel that they are speaking with a peer rather than a clinician. Some concern was expressed that self-disclosure could make the session more about the clinician than the client.
Over-identification was another frequent answer. Over-identification can occur on either the client’s or clinician’s end. Some clinicians noted that they remain cognizant of the fact that clients can idealize them and if they disclose too much about their recovery, the client might become too fixated on doing things exactly the way they did it.
It is worth noting that two respondents (both therapists) pointed out that a clinician that openly identifies as “recovered” might face scrutiny from colleagues who don’t necessarily believe that one can be fully recovered.
  1. What are your top three to five personal rules/guidelines you follow for appropriate, effective use of self-disclosure of personal recovery from an eating disorder when treating a person with an eating disorder?
There were some variations in answers here because some automatically self-disclose and others do not. However, a theme among both groups shared by most (30/44, or 68.18%; one did not respond) was not sharing specifics about the details of the provider’s illness. These respondents all agreed that providers should not discuss details, i.e., things such as weight, how sick they got, where they received treatment, specifics of their behaviors, or food intake (past or present).
Of those who do not automatically self-disclose, the most common rule was to do so if/when it was beneficial for the client, which is a recurring theme. Other guidelines that respondents followed were: are they filling time in the session, helping the client feel less ashamed about something, sharing useful information, using it as something to relate to the client about, and are they disclosing because it makes them feel good or is the disclosure for the client’s benefit?
Again, the main theme was making sure that disclosure was always done in a way that is beneficial to the client.
  1. Do you feel that you have experienced bias or discrimination from colleagues about your personal history of an eating disorder? If so, what kinds/how?
No answer = 1 (Because one person did not respond, response percentages are based on 44 respondents) 
Yes = 17/44 (38.64%)
No = 23/44 (52.27%)
Maybe = 4/44 (9.09%)
In their responses to this question many felt judged by their colleagues and overly scrutinized, whether it was being told that they lacked boundaries or being scrutinized regarding their eating or their bodies. Four respondents noted the issue of colleagues not believing that someone can be fully recovered from an eating disorder.
Three other respondents noted that they had received or perceived positive responses from colleagues.
  1. Do you think you would have benefitted from supervision from a therapist who was also recovered? If so, how?
No Answer/Not Applicable = 5 (These were removed and percentages are based on 40 respondents instead of 45)
Had a Recovered Supervisor/Mentor = 11/40 (27.5%)
**10/11 indicated it was an asset
Yes = 22/40 (55%)
Maybe = 4/40 (10%)
No = 3/40 (7.5%)
Since 10 of the 11 respondents who said they had a recovered supervisor or mentor said it benefitted them, we can combine those 10 with the 22 responders who said YES they would have benefitted.  In other words, 82.5% of responders indicated that having a recovered supervisor/mentor would be of benefit.
(One respondent didn’t say whether he or she believed it was an asset or not, just that she had supervision from someone who was recovered.)
Three respondents indicated “maybe/not sure”, while 2 stated, and a 3rd implied, that they did not have recovered supervisors and/or they believe that what is important is the quality of the supervisor rather than whether or not the supervisor is recovered.
  1. What advice would you give to a clinician who recovered from an eating disorder and is about to start working with clients with eating disorders?
Respondents gave advice on two levels, personal and dealing with clients. 
For personal advice, the most common suggestions given were: take care of yourself, get your own therapy or supervision, or colleagues you can talk to, make sure you’re strong in your recovery, be honest and know your sensitivities. 
For dealing with clients, the most common advice was not to share specifics or too much and only disclose in a way that is thoughtful and beneficial for the client.
  1. How do you choose when to or not to disclose?
Responses were pretty much covered in previous questions. Of those who don’t automatically self-disclose, the remaining clinicians do it when it feels right and when/if it will be beneficial for the client. There was no set “time frame” or protocol reported, it really just depended on whether or not it would benefit the client.
  1. What’s the worst consequence you have witnessed from your or someone else’s self-disclosure of personal recovery from an eating disorder in a professional setting?
Seventeen respondents noted that they had not witnessed any consequences. Of those that had seen negative effects, there were mentions of: being judged by colleagues, boundary issues, increased scrutiny, clients comparing their recovery to the clinician’s, and someone working in the field and disclosing that he/she was “recovered” when it was evident that the person was still struggling or relapsing.
  1. How do you gauge what’s safe to share “in the client’s best interest”?
The common theme presented was, “Do not share specific details of your illness.”
34 responses indicated that sharing information was done using their gut/intuition and/or best judgment and on a case-by-case basis. Criteria for disclosing ranged from clinician to clinician based on things such as: their working relationship with the client, how far along the client is in recovery, how the session is going (reading client’s reactions and body language), and the client’s maturity level.
Two people responded that they gauged how much to share in part by how the client reacts to initial information. One respondent bases it on the client’s history and their working relationship, another discloses based on how the client uses information he/she got in the past from other people, while another checks in directly with the client.
  1. Have you ever found any guidelines about self-disclosure of recovery as an intervention? If so, please provide the reference.
*Note, 7 people either did not answer this question or answered “n/a” so percentages that follow here are based on 38 respondents.
No Answer: 7 (These non-answers were removed )
No= 26/38 (68.42%)
Yes, (Guidelines From Carolyn)= 9/38 (23.68%)
Yes, Other Than Carolyn= 3/38 (7.89%)
Of the 38 responses, 35 (92.11%) had not seen any guidelines on self-disclosure of recovery, other than the few (9) who had heard Carolyn Costin talking about or using guidelines in supervision or lectures.
3 individuals (7.89%) had seen some other kind of guidelines, but the majority 26 (68.42%) indicated that they had not seen any guidelines anywhere.
Respondents who said they had seen guidelines (other than Carolyn’s), cited 5 articles, all of which were about general self-disclosure in psychotherapy.  None were related to self-disclosure for recovered eating disorder providers.
  1. As an eating disorder therapist, has your personal history of an eating disorder ever put you at risk for relapse or a setback while working with this population? If so, please say more about this (please include defining “relapse” or “set-back” for you).
Only 3 respondents out of 45 (6.67%) reported a setback or relapse, one reporting she only experienced thoughts and not behaviors.
Six indicated they had some sort of body image issues that came up and were dealt with.
Most respondents answered “no” and many indicated that, if anything, working with eating disorder clients and/or disclosing their history has strengthened their recovery and increased their motivation (to stay recovered).
“I feel like it’s kept me grounded, aware of my own experiences and supported my efforts to be mindful and balanced in my own skin. Once I understood more of the neurobiology about eating disorders, my experience made so much more sense to me. I can share that with clients in a way to help them understand themselves, and it doesn’t have to be triggering for me.”
  1. If there is something missing from these questions you’d like to comment on or you feel is important, please include!
This was our last question and we got several suggestions including people suggesting outcome studies, guidance for approaching a clinician who might be in relapse, and of course, the need for self-disclosure guidelines.
If you are interested in the topic of Recovered Eating Disorder Professionals and becoming more involved in a community of professionals and others who are recovered and work with, or want to work with eating disorders, visit Carolyncostin.com and look at the Recovered Professionals page and sign up to subscribe to the mailing list. Also please join the new Facebook group Recovered Eating Disorder Professionals. You will get updated information and articles on the topic and be a part of a community forum.
In addition, members of the Academy for Eating Disorders can join the special interest group (SIG) Professionals & Recovery, which is devoted to defining eating disorder recovery and issues related to recovered professionals.

TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL: Therapists With a Personal History of an Eating Disorder

TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL: Therapists With a Personal History of an Eating Disorder

By Carolyn Costin M.A., M.E.d., LMFT, FAED, CEDS and Alli Spotts-De Lazzer M.A., LMFT, LPCC, CEDS
This is the first of a 2 Part series on Recovered Therapists and the Treatment of Eating Disorders. A link for the second part appears at the end of this article.
Whether or not a therapist with a personal history of an eating disorder should treat patients with eating disorders and disclose that history has long been a subject of debate. The discussion continues—without resolve—between proponents in favor and those who oppose such self-disclosure. It is important to note at the outset of this article that both authors are therapists who have recovered from an eating disorder and support appropriate self-disclosure in the therapeutic relationship. We believe that being recovered from an eating disorder can be a significant asset when working with eating disorder patients.
Research indicates that a significant number of eating disorder treatment professionals have personally experienced an eating disorder. Early reports suggested about one out of three or four (Barbarich, 2002; Bloomgarden, Gerstein & Moss 2003; Johnston, Smethurst, & Gowers, 2005; Shisslak, Gray, & Crago, 1989; Warren, Crowley, Olivardia, & Schoen, 2008). More recent reports indicate perhaps even higher percentages. De Vos and colleagues (2015) noted that eating disorder clinicians with personal eating disorder histories ranged from 24% to 47%. The 2013 Academy for Eating Disorders online survey (unpublished) spearheaded by Dooley-Hash, de Vos, and the Professionals and Recovery Special Interest Group, revealed that out of 482 respondents from the Academy for Eating Disorders, International Association of Eating Disorders Professionals, Binge Eating Disorder Association, and Sports, Cardiovascular, and Wellness Nutrition, 262 (55%) reported a personal history of an eating disorder. Of the 262 professionals with personal histories of eating disorders, 182 (51%) reported working directly with eating disorder patients. Since many eating disorder therapists have had eating disorder histories, and according to Bloomgarden and colleagues (2003), 67% of therapists surveyed used self-disclosure in their treatment approach and “all recovered clinicians used it in their therapy in some way” (p. 165), it seems important to explore this topic further and assist clinicians in this area.
Over the years, some have suggested that clinicians with eating disorder histories should not disclose this to clients, while others have suggested they should not even work with eating disorder clients. As reported by Johnston and colleagues (2005), Clothier, MacDonald, and Shaw (1994) suggested that individuals with an eating disorder history be banned from the nursing profession, while Bullock (1997) recommended they be banned from all healthcare professions in the United Kingdom. Many have expressed concerns, listed potential disadvantages, and devised parameters to follow if a clinician with a personal history of an eating disorder wants to work in the field. In 2003, the issue was debated by the European Council on Eating Disorders, however, an agreement on whether clinicians with a history of an eating disorder are at a disadvantage when working with eating disorder clients could not be reached. What are the factors keeping us from some kind of consensus on this issue?
This article briefly looks at the history and literature on the topic of clinicians with an eating disorder past, explores values and pitfalls of these clinicians disclosing or not disclosing their history, the need to clarify terms in the field, and defining “recovered.”

The Value of Recovered Clinicians 

Carolyn: “I saw my first eating disorder client in 1979 and told her I was recovered from an eating disorder. I also said, ‘If I recovered, so can you.’ She recovered and I’ve been saying the same thing to all clients ever since. Sharing my eating disorder history and serving as a role model and guide for others has been a huge aspect of my success as a therapist in the eating disorder field.”
Alli: “As a developing eating disorders therapist, I sought a place to train where I didn’t have to hide that I once had an eating disorder and could allow that personal experience to be a part of the work—not a dominant part, as the clinical aspects need to be, but not a hidden part, either. So my first day as a trainee therapist was with Carolyn Costin at Monte Nido. Almost 10-years later, I can wholeheartedly say that both having learned appropriate parameters about, and having had permission to disclose my status of being recovered has helped many of my clients to believe that freedom from an eating disorder is possible—AKA ‘hope.’”
Carolyn: “I learned early on that a recovered clinician has the unique value of having lived with a brain that was once hijacked by an eating disorder and then having successfully gotten their real brain back. Having been through it, these clinicians can explain to clients, as well as to other clinicians, from a personal perspective, the mind set of someone with an eating disorder. Recovered clinicians can confront and challenge clients while empathizing in a deeply connected and personal way with the client’s fear of giving up the disorder. A recovered clinician is unlikely to encounter resistance that comes in the form of common refrains such as, ‘You just don’t get it’ or ‘Unless you’ve been there, you can’t understand.’ Over the last three decades I have hired and trained countless recovered clinicians to work with me at various levels of care, all the while receiving consistent reports from clients and families that working with a recovered therapist was a significant factor in their treatment success.”
Though there is little research on the topic, informal surveys and interviews pointed out that eating disorder patients felt that exposure to people with recovery, those who understood the illness or have recovered, was or would have been beneficial (Eivors, Button, Warner, & Turner, 2003; Redenbach & Lawler, 2003). In “Been There, Done That,” Costin and Johnson (2002) delineated advantages and disadvantages of clinicians with personal recovery and concluded that advantages outweigh the disadvantages thus “organizations need to acknowledge the useful contributions these clinicians can make to the field” (p. 303). Eleven years later, using qualitative and quantitative methods, Warren, Schafer, Crowley, and Olivardia (2013) revealed many similar benefits of utilizing therapists with eating disorder histories such as increased relational understanding, empathy, and knowledge of the disorder.
A recent and significant contribution by de Vos, Netten, and Noordenbos (2015) came from a survey at their clinic, Human Concern, where they examined both patients’ and clinicians’ experiences of treatment when the therapist was a self-disclosing, eating disorder-recovered clinician. Of the 205 patients who responded (out of 357), 97% indicated that the experiential knowledge of recovered therapists was beneficial in the therapy. Advantages included: the patient feels attunement (recognized, understood, and heard), therapy safety (equitable relationship with high levels of acceptance), the therapist seems available (authentic, open, honest), the therapist has enhanced awareness (knowledge and insight) into the eating disorder, and the patient feels increased hopefulness regarding healing and recovery. Overall, 93% of the patients indicated that the therapy provided by a recovered therapist positively influenced their recovery. Of the 32 recovered therapists who worked at Human Concern during the study and who received a mailed questionnaire, 24 (75%) completed the questionnaire. Of these therapists, 100% endorsed the same advantages as those reported by patients’ and additionally listed the following benefits: quickly bolstering therapeutic trust and cooperation in the working alliance, reducing fear and feelings of shame (the clients knew the therapist had been there or some place similar), providing a positive example (role model), having high empathy, and motivating positive change.

Potential Pitfalls of Clinicians with an Eating Disorder History 

Along with potential benefits, Costin and Johnson (2002), de Vos and colleagues (2015), and Warren and colleagues (2013) presented very similar potential risks, limitations, and pitfalls that might arise when therapists who have a personal eating disorder history work with eating disorder patients. Costin and Johnson pointed out the risk of relapse and various kinds of countertransference including having narrow views of how recovery takes place and a high sense of personal mission that could lead to over-involvement. De Vos and colleagues reported potential concerns from both patients and therapists. Patients cited the possibility of making comparisons and becoming overfamiliar with the therapist as a potential negative of therapist self-disclosure, and clinicians noted potential disadvantages as increased projection, over-identification (based on personal versus client experience), and risk for over-involvement or closeness with the patient. Warren and colleagues cited clinician-related potential risks as: over-identification or biases from personal history, countertransference, and experiencing feeling triggered, which can result in setbacks or relapses for some.
Relapse concerns were highlighted by Barbarich (2002), where 27 out of 97 (28%) of eating disorder professionals with a history of an eating disorder reported relapse after entering the field as a professional. However, there are important questions to ask about this study: 1) Were these therapists “recovered,” did they describe themselves as recovered? 2) Did the therapists have at least two years of being recovered before working in the field? 3) How many of these therapists kept their personal histories concealed from colleagues and/or patients? 4) How many of these clinicians received guidance or supervision in how to appropriately use their history in their work? Of note here is that Carolyn has worked with recovered clinicians in various treatment settings for 30 years. Adhering to hiring clinicians who consider themselves recovered for at least two years and providing consistent guidance and supervision has resulted in only one known case to date where a recovered staff member relapsed.

Clarification of Terms

Many people think that the terms “recovery,” “recovering” and “recovered” are just semantic and do not make much difference. We respectfully disagree. When related to how people might view clinicians with eating disorder histories, these terms can be confusing.
Early on in the eating disorder field, professionals and patients started applying the 12 Step program, disease model of addiction, and corresponding language to the treatment of eating disorders. Though Bill Wilson included the term recovered in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, substance abuse and chemical dependency circles rarely use it and more widely utilize two other terms, recovery and recovering. However, these terms become vague and ambiguous when applied to eating disorders. To say, “I’m a recovering alcoholic” or “I’m in recovery from alcoholism,” typically means the person is notdrinking and acknowledges a lifelong disease/addiction. When a person with an eating disorder says, “I’m a recovering anorexic” or “I’m in recovery from anorexia,”
what does the person actually mean? The truth is, someone who says this can mean any number of things such as, the person is in residential treatment, has just discharged from a treatment program, or has been well and normal weight for 10 years.
We respect that the terms recovery and recovering connect, inspire, and work for many. Our hope is for the eating disorder field to come up with a clear and accepted definition of recovered that denotes a person who is no longer engaging in symptoms or suffering from the illness. If clearly defined, the term recovered could be unifying and helpful to clients, practitioners, researchers, and carers alike.

Determining “Recovered”

Though there is no consensus, most people would likely agree that to be “recovered” from an eating disorder, there must be an absence of clinically diagnostic behaviors. However, many would also likely agree that this alone is insufficient. What if someone’s only symptom is purging once or twice every other week? Even though the person’s behaviors would not meet diagnostic criteria, most could agree that calling such a person recovered would be incorrect. Likewise a person who is abstaining from overt symptoms while restricting calories, fighting the urge to purge, weighing and body checking multiple times a day, and/or unable to eat with others or in restaurants should not be considered recovered.
Carolyn, who has been self-disclosing and using the term recovered for over three decades, knew it was important for her to define what she meant by the term. Her definition can be found in her books, 100 Questions and Answers About Eating Disorders and the 8 Keys To Recovery From an Eating Disorder:
Being recovered is when the person can accept his or her natural body size and shape and no longer has a self-destructive relationship with food or exercise. When recovered, food and weight take a proper perspective in your life and what you weigh is not more important than who you are; in fact, actual numbers are of little or no importance at all. When recovered, you will not compromise your health or betray your soul to look a certain way, wear a certain size or reach a certain number on the scale. When you are recovered, you do not use eating disorder behaviors to deal with, distract from, or cope with other problems.
Both authors have repeatedly experienced clients who come to us after years of struggling with an eating disorder. These clients often report finding both motivation and a sense of hope in knowing that we were once seriously ill but are now recovered. Exposure to those who are recovered, whether clinicians, friends, celebrities, speakers, etc., is important for anyone who has an illness as it provides real proof that being recovered is possible.

Recovered Enough

Though we firmly believe that clinicians who are recovered from an eating disorder can be in a unique position, we acknowledge complexities that can come from how self or others determine when a clinician is “recovered enough” (Bloomgarden et al., 2003) to safely work with clients who have eating disorders.
How can we know when a person is really recovered? In “Eating Disorder Counsellors With Eating Disorder Histories: A Story of Being ‘Normal,’” Rance, Moller, and Douglas (2010) commented on and critiqued information gleaned from interviews held with therapists who had personal eating disorder histories. The theme of an “emphasis on normality” (p. 382) emerged, meaning that the therapists repeatedly stressed the message that “I am normal” (p. 385) in regard to food, weight, and body attitudes and that their work with eating disorder clients didn’t affect these attitudes. Examples included being free of their eating disorders (“When I got better”), eating normally (e.g., “I’m comfortable about eating”), and body acceptance (e.g., “I’m really ok with my body . . . I don’t mind its changes”) (p. 384-385). The authors added that the clinicians’ expressions generally contradicted research (Shisslak et al., 1989; Warren et al., 2009) indicating that it could actually be more normal to have their attitudes on food, body and weight impacted when working with clients with an eating disorder. Statements made that emphasized normality were originally explained as “adamant assertions” that involve “denial” (p. 389). Fortunately the authors considered an alternative interpretation—that recovered clinicians likely have worked through body, weight, and food issues and have thus “developed a far healthier relationship with these issues” than much of the population (p. 389).
Alli ; “I remember when I first began as a Mental Health Worker at Monte Nido; a miscommunication happened that led to a meeting with Carolyn to discuss and assess my recovered enough status. Not knowing what to express that would ameliorate or clarify the concern, I said, ‘I think this is like the situation where a sane person is accidentally admitted into a psychiatric ward, and anything that person says is not going to be helpful. If it’s OK with you, just watch me.’ I knew that time and observation, not words, would reveal whether I was recovered. And yes, I admit that having self-disclosed my recovered status at work added a layer of stress in that I felt ‘watched,’ but the benefits of being able to train at Monte Nido and harness how to use my past eating disorder experience in helpful ways far outweighed the time limited period of anxiety.”
Even if the field reaches its consensus on a definition of recovered—and then holds it up as the criteria for being able to be work with eating disorder patients—how would we verify a recovered status? Could standardized measuring and monitoring happen? When substance abuse facilities hire individuals who identify as recovering alcoholics or drug addicts, drug testing can verify if the person is considered clean and sober or “using.” There is no similar test to determine if a person is “using” his or her eating disorder symptoms. Some have suggested that therapists with personal eating disorder histories be subjected to clinical eating disorder assessments and ultrasound checks for ovarian size to determine if they are at a healthy weight (Wright & O’Toole, 2005). Without even discussing the actual merit of these as determining factors, would these tests be administered to all therapists who wish to work with eating disorders or just those who say they once had an eating disorder? And couldn’t those with an eating disorder history be able to avoid such testing by not disclosing they ever had an eating disorder?
Other suggestions have ranged from ongoing assessments of the recovered clinicians’ relapse potential, how they conduct therapy, and a myriad of other “indicators.” Some have recommended that for clinicians with an eating disorder history the following should be regularly assessed: absence from work, inability to make decisions or cope in emergencies, seeking therapeutic relationships with colleagues, potential risks to patients, and potential to collude with the patients and their illness. After almost thirty years as clinical director of eating disorder day treatment, residential, and hospital programs, it is noteworthy that Carolyn has not seen higher incidences of problems in any of these areas with her recovered staff verses her staff with no eating disorder history. It seems interesting and confusing that there could be so much proposed attention on therapists who have recovered from an eating disorder but not for therapists who have histories of depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, or another diagnosis in their past. We leave readers to ponder that question.

The Downside of Not Telling

There is another important consideration here that is seldom discussed. Clients often directly ask their eating disorder therapist whether he or she ever had an eating disorder. Is not disclosing an eating disorder history a risk-free option?
Bloomgarden (2000) noted that when she was treating eating disorder patients and actively withholding her own eating disorder recovery, a barrier was created that negatively affected her working alliance with patients. Others have acknowledged the same was true for them. For example, over the last few years eating disorder physician, Dr. Mark Warren, has been speaking to audiences about clinicians and recovery after finally revealing his own eating disorder history on a panel with Carolyn at a national conference. Dr. Warren told the audience that not disclosing his eating disorder history to patients and their families became so distressing that it undermined his sense of integrity and finally caused him to disclose his eating disorder past.

What Else to Consider

The implications surrounding therapists’ personal disclosure are far reaching and involvea myriad of considerations that cannot possibly be covered in this article. Considerations include: clinical issues; ethical concerns; legal ramifications; human resource management; hiring policies; training and supervision; countertransference problems; self-disclosure guidelines; potential and actual relapse red-flags and concerns; and necessity for research on the pros and cons for both client and clinician, including outcome studies.

Conclusion     

Clinicians with a personal history of an eating disorder should be able to make their own decision about whether or not to work with eating disorder patients and whether or not to disclose their personal history. Some colleagues practice a “tell only when asked” policy, meaning they share only if asked by patients or colleagues. Some choose not to share at all, and some share as a routine part of their work. Our ultimate goal is to explore how clinicians with a personal history—who want to use it in their work—can best do so while also recognizing the many related complexities.
Without the existence of widely accepted guidelines that can help eating disorder clinicians to effectively use self-disclosure and personal eating disorder experience, the only guiding ethical cornerstones that exist are to do what is in the best interest of the client and do no harm; however, determining what these mean is up to each individual. For now, any clinician considering self-disclosure, will have to rely on introspection, colleagues, training, professional ethics, consultation, tenets of their dominant theoretical orientation, client feedback, and supervision or employment policies.
In the hopes of generating further discussion and assisting clinicians with an eating disorder past, a second article will be devoted to guidelines for self-disclosure and how to use one’s eating disorder history when working with patients.
To read the second part of this article, please click here.

Transference and Countertransference in Working with Eating Problems – Part II

Transference and Countertransference in Working with Eating Problems – Part II

By Susan Gutwill, LCSW
(This is the second of a 2-part series on the issues of transference and countertransference.  To read part 1 click here)

Cultural Transference and Countertransference and Body Co-Motion

Treating eating problems and body insecurity requires us to think about transference and countertransference not only from the perspective of the individual client and therapist in their therapy relationship. It also asks us to explore the impact on clients and therapists alike as they are both affected by the society in which these problems are created.
In our culture, eating and body image suffering derives from the intersection of late consumer capitalism and its form of patriarchy. Women, and their bodies, though falsely idealized, are simultaneously controlled and denigrated in our culture. No matter how many millions of pictures of “the ideal woman” we see in our lives, we can never be hard, strong, thin, or young enough, to feel safe within ourselves. The images we see 300-400 times a day are false, airbrushed, starved, stripped, sexualized, and forever, “on offer” for “the other,” men, the male gaze, and to women who will compete with us. False images of the acceptable female body are literally impossible to achieve.  These images are on the one hand, the carrot, or as the mafia might say the “offer we cannot refuse.”  However, on the other hand, their implicit message is the stick: “Though you are not good enough, you cannot stop trying to become good enough, beyond reproach.”  “Watch what you eat and exercise,” is its rallying cry.
This cultural environment is passed along through parents and important relationships, but also directly through our own senses as we see, hear, and feel the cultural messages.  Women become so afraid to trust our own internal environment’s signals about when to eat, how much to eat, and what to eat. In fact, many women do not know what those signals feel like; they forget biological inheritance.   Instead, we are taught that we are forever in danger of getting it wrong. It is tragic, because attunement to physiological hunger and satiation are not only about food, they represent more far reaching psycho-somatic achievements.  Hunger is also a metaphor for safe desire, ambition, and being entitled to care for ourselves as well as others. Satiation teaches us about mourning the real limits of life. “I cannot digest anymore now,” is a metaphor for grieving the small deaths in the reality of life, e.g. I can have this much but not everything.  This is a lesson that the system of capitalism cannot contain, even if it means destroying our mother, the earth, and its ability to nurture. Choosing what to eat is a metaphor for how to be safe in choosing whom to love, to trust.
Eating with hunger, satiation, and food choice, therefore, are certainly cognitive and behavioral goals.  But, they allow the development of a full “potential” self, as well.
We at The Women’s Therapy Centre use the term eating problems because the term eating disorders implies that this suffering is predominantly an individual illness, a medical problem, a form of personal pathology, rather than the norm for women.
Of course severe anorexia and bulimia actually threaten lives; they do often need medical attention.  But all eating problems/disorders derive from the social norm that tells women, a) what to feed to others and b) even more, what we must not feed to ourselves. The social norm for women requires us to discipline our many other appetites so that we can more closely achieve the ideal image of the female body and female responsibility to nurture others before all else.  Lynne Layton calls these lessons part of “the normative unconscious,” an unconscious sense of what is “right,” based in the institutions, the practices, and the ideology of our social system.  ([i]Layton)
When we include compulsive eating and the diet mentality (“I shouldn’t be eating this.”) to anorexia, bulimia, and orthorexia, eating and body image problems affect about 90% of all women. Therapists and clients alike, share the everyday fear of food and body insecurity.  As members of our particular society, we are all participant/observers and cruelly engaged in “the war” on one of life’s most dreaded dangers, “obesity.”
The preoccupation with fat crosses lines of social class, race, ethnicity, and sexualities.  Women in all of these groups share the fear of food and body insecurity.  There are differences within each group’s history and placement in society, black and white women, each ethnicity, all along the gender/sexual preference continuum of gay, straight, bisexual, trans, and queer persons.  But they all share the social control, the incitement of a terror of being fat, denigrated, and devalued.
Cultural countertransference is the name I give to this inevitable experience which requires comparing our bodies and eating habits to each other.   Sexist culture sets women up against each other, as we face the challenges of how we “measure up to the idealized image of women.” We make conscious and unconscious relationships to cultural symbols and to the society for which they stand.([ii]Gutwill).   These relationships, like those to our parents, are also psychologically internalized as unconscious and embodied experiences.  Carol Gilligan calls this the “wall of culture.”  When we hit the wall, we are actually regressed in our previously achieved general psychosomatic development.  The images of consumer culture can actually regress us.  Our society symbolically scolds each one of us for not being ideal. Instead, we are endlessly encouraged to become our own jailers. ([iii]Gutwill and Foucoult)  We experience our bodies as malleable and do not have a stable sense of body safety so the social message is ever more powerful. ([iv]Orbach)
Therefore, it is inevitable that in almost all treatments, female patients and their therapists share many feelings which are instantaneously and consciously transformed from feeling language into eating and body language. The results create underlying transference/countertransference   “co-motions.”
A therapist or patient might feel: “I wish I could be that disciplined.” “I wish I had that body.” “I suddenly can’t stand this woman.” “I think she is judging my body.” “I am suddenly checking the size of my thighs and they are huge and don’t even talk about the rolls around my middle.”  Patients are sometimes unable to look at their therapists’ bodies.  It feels dangerous, as if it could overturn the patient’s “idealization” of the therapist.  At certain early times in trust, in fact, that might not be useful.  But at some point it is necessary.
One day a colleague who was seeing a man afraid of intimacy with his girlfriend, called the therapist “round. “The therapist asked what does “round” mean to you?  He replied saying round was fine but he preferred his girlfriends to be slender.  Upon exploration they came to realize that the female therapist had asked, when he spoke about leaving this girlfriend, if he was afraid of being close to her and, if so, why.  After that discussion, he realized he saw the therapist as fat because he was angry with her about being challenged to look at his own fears being known.   Until they realized this, my colleague, who is generally comfortable in her body, felt fat.
Often therapists will find they feel heavy or too small or weak in the middle of a session. They might sit taller in the chair to hide fat and rolls or appear bigger then they might, shift this way or that to make their hips look smaller, feel their skin suddenly aging and lift their chin to hide the age.  That is time to wonder about what is being induced in the “body co-motion” of countertransference.

Strategies for Working with Countertransference in Cognitive Behavioral Work

In treatment, we need to teach the facts about a) the dangers of yo-yo dieting, b) how diets create binges, c) how 95% of dieters gain back more than they lose over a short or somewhat longer time, and d) The diet industry profits from our failure and our addiction to dieting. These facts are a necessary piece of cognitive learning. However, we need to remember that this information can take years to register.  This is due to the fact that our facts cannot compete with or eliminate the primitive anxiety and sadness patients have. Diets and the constant diet mentality are what psychodynamic therapists call a manic defense: let me hop into action and my anxiety will be transformed. We must respect and help patients understand that symptoms are a lifejacket in a raging sea.  So, cognitive work has to be put forward gently and repeatedly, over many months if not years, before clients can integrate it and give up their action symptoms.
In addition, these pieces of necessary cognitive behavioral work have to be timed so that they match not only the rhythm of the therapy relationship, but also that the therapy couple are not in the middle of other profound and sensitive material that is a major priority.  This occurs, for example, if the therapeutic couple is working on a major transference/countertransference issue or deep trauma.
Finally, we need to track the relational transference and countertransference conundrums that arise from our educational efforts.
Tracking means, for example, asking how a client felt about the therapist’s interventions. For example, one day my client Sarit screamed at me that she was furious that now she knew diets didn’t work. But because of me and “my ideas,” she couldn’t diet anymore and she was gaining weight. Although we had been working on eating with physiological hunger and stopping with the body’s satiation for a few years, she couldn’t put them to use in a regular way. At certain points in treatment, she saw me as the new “diet general! ” who victimized her.  I instantly felt I was being too pushy, on the one hand, and, on the other hand, angry at her blame and demand for me to see her as a victim. In reality, I had probably expressed impatience.  I held onto my countertransference blame, anger, and guilt and opened myself to curiosity about her transference and we looked at it more deeply.
Upon further reflection, Sarit felt I was like her actual, demanding mother whom she could never satisfy. Her mother had lived in a family in Poland where there had been many family suicides even before the Holocaust.    Mom was taken prisoner at Auschwitz where she was only saved from death because of Mom’s sexual attractiveness, which enabled her to be used sexually by the SS.  Understandably, Sarit’s mother was very restrictive with food, somewhat anorexic, deeply invasive, and hysterical a great deal of the time Sarit was growing up. Her mother controlled her portions at every meal.  Sarit could not heal her mother, nor her own screaming body. And, she felt guilty that she hated her relationship to her mother.  All of this came clear by following the transference and countertransference.
In concluding, I want to reiterate that in private practice and long term agency practice, working in the transference, countertransference, and cultural countertransference are central to the longer term psychotherapy.  I believe we need an integration of many elements of psychotherapy, cognitive behavioral psycho-education, body work — all unified by a psychodynamic approach to understanding the unconscious and creating a secure and deep psychotherapy relationship.

Thursday, March 2, 2017

You Say I Have a Problem. I Don’t Think So. Now what?

You Say I Have a Problem. I Don’t Think So. Now what?

By Kathryn Cortese, LCSW, ACSW, CEDS
You’ve heard it all – “I’m worried about you.” “You keep going to the bathroom after you eat. Is something going on?” “Why don’t you talk with me anymore?” “You’re looking kinda skinny. Is this a good thing?” “Why are you wearing a sweatshirt? It’s so hot today.” “You seem to be eating more lately.” “Are you sure you really need to go to the gym?” “How come you don’t come out with us anymore?” “How do you stay so thin?” “You mean the plumbing is clogged again?” “Where did the left-overs go?”
And you’ve heard – “I think you have an eating problem … an eating disorder.” “Are you bulimic?” “I don’t know why you think you look fat.” Etc. And, what you know is, “You think I have a problem and I don’t think so.” Now what?
Well, you can do nothing. You can keep secrets. You can sadly suffer silently. You can worry about numbers on a scale. You can stress about your next family gathering. You can try on 10 outfits before you decide what you’ll wear for the day. You can compare your hips to someone else’s. You can go online and look at Facebook and feel inadequate. You can wonder, “Do I look fat?” You can feel guilty because you ate 2 cookies. You can feel shameful because you ate a sleeve of crackers. You can get up at 4:00 am and exercise for 2 hours before work because you “have to.” You can tell yourself not to eat breakfast or lunch because you’re going out with friends tonight. You can remeasure your thighs with your hands. You can tell yourself you’re disgusting because you ate ice cream. You can shame yourself to tears.
But then, you can push the pause button instead and just wonder – wonder why certain people take their time to tell you they care and they are worried about you even though they know: you’ll blow them off, you’ll get annoyed, you’ll be defensive, you’ll leave the room. Why would someone approach you anyway? Can you write down some possible answers? While you’re writing, think about the character of the person who brought their concern to your attention. Is this a decent person? Is this someone with a good heart? Is this someone who would love to give you a hug? Is this someone who matters to you? Is this someone with good judgment and values?
So, why do these people approach you? Is there something in it for them? If so, what would that be?
Now, take a moment and make a list of your safe people. It may be one individual, or a few, or more. Who can you share your thoughts about this essay with? When you think about your safe person or safe people, what do you know about them? In order for a person to be “safe,” you need to feel trust. This is someone you’ve known to show a sense of humanity. This person respects you and sees you as a competent individual with skills and talents. This person walks the walk and lives by what he/she says. This person will tell you the truth, not just what you might want to hear and doesn’t take advantage of you. He/she is strong enough to be there for you, not control or try to control you, and gives you space. While being non-judgmental, this person will share his/her opinions and thoughts. This person makes good decisions which are based on reality. This person is also open-minded and is interested in you and your ideas. This person has earned your trust. Sometimes this “safe person” is a family member, a friend, a professional, someone at your school, someone at work, someone at your house of worship.
What if this is something you choose to do today – pick a person and talk about this essay. Let this safe person know that your goal in your conversation is to exchange ideas, not to agree or disagree. Just to talk. Go ahead. Give it a try.
And remind yourself you are amazing!

Transference and Countertransference in Working with Eating Problems

Transference and Countertransference in Working with Eating Problems – Part 1

By Susan Gutwill, LCSW
(This is the first of a 2-part series on the issues of transference and countertransference. Part II will continue next month in our April ENewsletter.)
The way one has been treated and the feelings it engendered in our formative early histories are repeated in every therapy couple. This is called transference. It is not a conscious process. But it is inevitable. If our patients have been abandoned, denigrated, abused, terrified, blamed, rejected, or taken over in their histories, they will transfer their learning from such relationships past, onto their expectation of us in the important intimacy of their current therapy relationship. Paying close attention to these patient expectations tells us a great deal about our clients’ early lives. ([1]Freud)
Freud established that transference was a critical piece of psychotherapy, similar to dreams, another “royal road to the unconscious”. He considered countertransference the therapist’s response to transference of the client, something about the person of the therapist, which should be explored in the therapist’s personal psychoanalysis and supervision. Many theorists/practitioners have changed and added to that original idea. Today, psychodynamic psychotherapists believe that transference and countertransference are both important tools within psychotherapy proper, as well about the therapist’s private life. We have learned from object relations, relational psychoanalysis, interpersonal, and inter-subjective theories, as well as from evidence based studies, that countertransference is equally inevitable and important to good treatment as is understanding transference. ([2]Racker, Wooley, Mitchell, Gill, Gill & Hoffman, Hoffman, Burke, Tansey & Burke) Feminist psychology, with its emphasis on nurturance, and equality and the anti-authoritarian stance the of the 1960’s and 1970’s have both impacted upon psychodynamic thinking positing that therapy should be based on a real, but bounded relationship. This relationship itself is a major part of the healing and growth our clients need, just as it is the base of all human needs for growth from babyhood throughout our adult lives.
Client’s feelings towards us inevitably pull for our own powerful countertransference feelings as well. Bion, Ogden and Racker, for example, teach us that the therapist’s countertransference response can be concordant or complementary ([3]Bion, Ogden, Racker).
For Racker, concordant countertransference feels like empathy, e.g. “oh how horrible that must have felt for you.” As therapists, our bodies and hearts may feel shaken, like we are sinking into the feelings our clients have. Often, when we share our concordant feelings, our clients feel understood, and grateful for our empathy and recognition. ([4]J. Benjamin)
Additionally, however, clients, (most especially, guarded anorexics), also may feel afraid of being deeply known and, therefore, open to being reinjured in ways they felt earlier in life. The theory of object relations by Ronald Fairbairn is particularly useful in working with eating and body image problems and trauma. He argues that when early dependency experience is very frustrating, even rejecting, we psychically split ourselves in order to accommodate the reality that we still have to depend upon the only caregivers that we have. We adapt by splitting our own ego, and unconsciously fantasize and imagine that we are the failures, ourselves. So, for example, we binge because we are afraid to admit to ourselves how hurt we are. It feels too dangerous to know our only caregivers are not reliable. We fantasize that if only we were better, they would love us, reliably enough. So, if we were only thinner, for example, we might yet be accepted, loved, and noticed. However, we further imagine, and the other side of the split screams at us, that we will never be good enough. There is really no hope. Thus, bad experience is internalized and split in two equally false options, an enticing part (if only I was thin) and a rejecting part (I’m hopeless, I want to shrink away, I am fat and ugly). This then becomes an inner relationship which is isolated, split off, and shut away from real human relationships in a deep freeze of profound fear. Fairbairn’s work in psychodynamic thinking, following earlier work by Ferenczi, opens us to the notion of the dissociative nature of the mind born of severe trauma. ([5]Aron, Ferenczi, Fairbairn, Hainer, Howell)
  1. W. Winnicott, writing at the same time, reminds us that being fed and held at the very beginning is the foundational relational experience required for life itself. Remember, that babies ([6]Spitz) which are fed but not related to, fail to thrive. Eating is a relational experience.
Winnicott, like Fairbairn’s ego objects, talked about an isolated part of self which he called  “the false self.” He meant that we accommodate to early caregiver’s needs to be safe in our dependent attachment. Hence, the goal of therapy is to find the potential to be a “true self,” never fully attainable, but the animus of a rich life which in itself is dependent on a safe early relationship of dependency. ([7]Winnicott)
In Therapy
In treatment, clients may show their fear of being known right away or more slowly and subtly, and they do so repeatedly at different stages of therapy. However and whenever these frightened warning signals become known to client or therapist, therapists may feel either concordant or complementary counter-transference.
Examples of complementary countertransference might look like the following. We sense our client is endlessly compliant and it begins to feel “off,” “unreal,” “impossible.” We ask ourselves, “What am I missing?” Therapists may feel pushed away from the relationship, like “who are you kidding? I don’t believe you.” And often we women therapists feel guilty for having such ‘non-idealized’ suspicious and angry feelings. ([8]Steiner Adair, Gilligan, Ruddick, Eichenbaum & Orbach, Chodorow) Women are supposed to nurture! And yet at this moment “if you keep kissing my rear end, I am going to go nuts!” This may be a case where empathy has flown out the window and a therapist feels controlled and as if they are being forced to live in a lie.
Complementary feelings are often dramatic and negative. Another example might be, “Do I have to hear you complain for the umpteenth time about how much you hate yourself for eating. We have been here so many times and you keep saying the same things, as if we had never worked on this.” Or we may ask ourselves “Why am I not buying this?” Or, “If I am so noxious to you, why don’t you go find someone else to work with?” Or, “You haven’t spoken in months. What are we doing here? Anything?”
Yet another countertransference response may indicate that we are swimming in the same soup as our clients, because of our own unresolved anxieties about eating and living in our bodies, i.e., I call this cultural countertransference and it is rarely discussed. I will expand upon this kind of countertransference in Part II of this series.
All therapists’ countertransference feelings are by definition, powerful. We alternatively may feel guilty, frightened, proud, fearful of confronting our clients, and more. But they all tell a story we need to enter and explore, again and again.
This critical and central piece of all our therapeutic work is carried out by what Harry Stack Sullivan, the father of Interpersonal Psychotherapy, called “detailed inquiries.” ([9]Sullivan) He meant that we “get into it” with patients, that we explore their thoughts, behaviors, and feelings in detail. In a sense, we need to hold the curiosity they do not yet have.
We therapists have to be able to join our clients, again and again and again when they come in telling us they binged, threw up, or ate without hunger. We need to investigate, in great detail, their many moments, or episodes, of hating their bodies, of shaming themselves because of their bodies. The complaints usually begin with the same ritual that sounds depressed and/or like a monotone or super anxiety and are all filled with despair: “I did it again.” “I hate myself.” “I am so fat.” “I feel disgusting.”  They may have eaten an entire pizza or a handful of grapes and a little bag of popcorn that was not on “their program.”
Our job is to bring these repetitive complaints that may sound like whining, alive. My definition of whining, by the way, is complaining without feeling entitled to the underlying pain. That is why they often sound annoying. But it is also hard to stay present when patients are super-anxious. These presentations regularly induce therapists into complementary countertransference responses.  Whatever the presentation, what helps is to ask questions like:
What had happened just before you felt so fat, this time?
What had happened on your way to feeling fat? How did it make you feel?
Do you feel you are entitled to feel that way? No? Why not? How were feelings and especially your feelings treated in your family, your marriage, your friendship group? How do you feel our society feels about these kinds of feelings? Where does that show up in your life?
And where do you feel that in your body? We need to bring our clients into their bodies, where all feelings reside. Sometimes I do an exercise where I ask my clients to close their eyes and feel the couch. I then do a progressive relaxation to help them focus and enter the space of feeling. Or, clients shaping themselves into body sculptures, for example, can enact in their bodies what the inner self looks or feels like. These methods are endless and are personalized to what the therapist knows about a particular client’s history.
A great deal of therapy time brings clients back to the feelings they had when alone, this time with the therapist in accompaniment as witness. After the intense focusing I have suggested, therapists might ask, “so how do you feel now?” This works with compulsive eaters and for binges.
With anorexics, the path is rockier. Their defenses embrace more of their being. In other words, there is less of a healthy central ego/self. Our job is less directive, educational yes, but more focused on their life story, trying to “hold” a space for growth of self-in-relationship.
In doing all this, there is an inevitable transference/countertransference dance that is very challenging and essential to the heart of good therapy. We work in a real relationship where our impatience, horror, love, empathy, and hate, registers and demands to be understood. When we become curious about the details of these feelings, it opens the door to compassion and finally, some dignity to otherwise entirely shameful feelings.
To help with this demanding process, the ethics of psychodynamic therapy ask us to have our own deep psychodynamic therapy as well as clinical supervision. These are required in order to notice and work with what is unconscious and embodied. It is essential that therapists know what this kind of therapy feels like and what it can accomplish. As my first long term therapist put it to me, “I need to be as clean as possible, to know where my own responses are coming from, so that I can help you.” How relieving that felt to hear! She could own her part of our relationship…“response-able.”

Overworked Overeaters

Overworked Overeaters

By Tory Butterworth, Ph.D.
As a psychotherapist who leads workshops in emotional eating, participants frequently ask me, “Why do I eat my feelings?” My experience shows there are four different flavors of emotional eating (also known as compulsive overeating or binge eating disorder.) Each of these patterns of overeating has its roots in a different stage of early childhood and requires different strategies to be overcome.
The acronym STOP can be used to remember these four types: Sampling or Grazing, Traumatized Overeating, Overworked overeating, and Picky overeating. In this blog, I’ll describe Overworked overeating, what it looks like, where it comes from, and first steps in making it stop.
Overworked overeaters power through the early part of their day, doing as much as they can and eating as little as possible, until tiredness and hunger overtake them. Many overworked overeaters skip breakfast. If they do eat breakfast, it is a low calorie meal, often lacking in sufficient protein and healthy fat to fuel a demanding work schedule.
Once they get going, overworked overeaters rarely stop to take breaks or eat a snack. Many of them will eat a quick lunch at their desk while continuing with the task at hand. Their first and primary focus is to accomplish as much as possible. Eating, relaxing, and socializing take a back seat to getting work done.
At the end of their workday, overworked overeaters find themselves hungry, tired, and frequently resentful of all the demands placed upon them. Dinner is not enough to fill them and they end up binging, usually in the late evening, on typical snack foods high in carbohydrates, fat, and either sugar or salt.
From a developmental perspective, overworked overeaters have not yet resolved issues which they first encountered when they were two to four years old, sometimes known as the “Terrible Twos.” At this age many children stage temper tantrums, demanding their own way rather than listening to caregivers’ requests. Children are learning about making their own choices and using their power to influence other people. “My way,” can become a frequent refrain of this time period. The terrible twos can be a hard stage for parents and children both.
Toilet training is also an important focus for this age. As children learn to control their bowel movements, they are taking on this task of self-mastery and sticking with it. This can leave them with a feeling of pride and accomplishment, and set the stage for them to take responsibility for other chores as they grow and develop.
But while taking responsibility is a sign of maturity, adults also need to know when to refuse it. Overworked overeaters are known to take on responsibilities at work, at home, with their children, or caring for people in difficult circumstances. If they are not discriminating, these overeaters risk biting off more than they can chew. They frequently have a hard time asking for help from others, or making statements like, “Right now, I just can’t take on one more thing.”
How can overworked overeaters begin to shift their eating habits? They need to practice doing things for themselves rather than others. Taking the time to eat a nourishing and well-rounded breakfast, including protein, a fruit or vegetable, and some healthy fat, is a great place to start.
Actually taking breaks during the work day to get up and walk, eat a healthy snack, or talk to a friend are other ways for overworked overeaters to give to themselves. Taking some “down time” after work to relax or go for a walk can be a great way to recharge before evening activities begin.
Another focus for overworked overeaters is learning to say “No” to some requests. It can be a breakthrough for these overeaters to realize they don’t have to take on everything that someone else left undone. Some projects are just not worth the effort. Sometimes, someone else will volunteer. Beginning to consider whether or not they want to take on a task can be an important step forward for overworked overeaters.
The, “Me, first,” exercise can also be useful for overworked overeaters. Draw a line down the center of a piece of paper to create two lists. The first list consists of the things you do for yourself.  The second list includes tasks you do for everyone else. Just looking at how long the second list is, compared to the first, can be eye-opening. Figuring out how to add to the “Doing for me” column and subtract from the “Doing for others” column can be difficult, but ultimately rewarding for this type of overeater.
Overworked overeaters have a tendency to place high demands on themselves and expect quick, perfect results. While this can be a strength at times, it can become self-defeating when they fail to measure up to their own (impossible) standards. Appreciating what they successfully accomplished at the end of each day, and what kind of difference it made for themselves or others, can keep their motivation high and set them on the road to adding further changes in the future.
Step by step, overworked overeaters can gradually begin creating a life which is about feeding themselves (both physically and emotionally) rather than just feeding others.